A big part of the monthly virtual boot camps I run is to encourage everyone to look at their past to see how our environment (families, upbringing, schooling, friends, activities, religious beliefs, etc.) shape the habits that affect our health and fitness. I work with a lot of moms and typically these are the conversations that help us get to the root of what drives our health & fitness habits (both good and bad). If you have ever worked with a holistic or doctor influenced by East Asian Medicine, you know that they “treat the entire patient,” not just the “illness” or medical issue. This exercise is similar to that concept and allows us to recognize what maybe did or did not help or work for us growing up and opens up the conversation on how we can be better and do better – not only for the benefit of ourselves, but for our sons and daughters.
In my current boot camp, I was asking the ladies if their participation in the group is something they would approve of their children doing and the response I got from Ashley, one of the participants, was so perfect, I just had to share it with you. This spoke right to my heart so I thought it would speak to yours too….
“Absolutely I would approve of my daughter participating in this group. I would be supportive and understanding in any challenge my children take on.
Growing up, I had a very skinny mom who got that way by barely eating. I have four sisters (three older and one younger) that NEVER struggled with weight. So, when I began having self-esteem and body image issues in 4th grade… I had no positive role model to how my body should look or how to maintain a healthy lifestyle (I did not inherit my mother’s figure). My freshmen year in high school I began an extremely unhealthy lifestyle of bulimia …. Which carried me two years until I was hospitalized my junior year for malnutrition and severe anemia. I remember handfuls of hair coming out of my head. My mother berated me and threw out hundreds of negative comments about my lifestyle. I didn’t have the help to see that normal women have to watch what they eat, make healthy lifestyles and choices, as well as find joy in an active lifestyle. Years later, my metabolism has paid for the unhealthy choices I made earlier in my life and keeping the weight off has been an uphill battle.
In college, I began a healthy lifestyle of working out and eating healthy. I was at my best and truly found joy in exercising. I also found it to be a great stress reliever. Since then, I have found it difficult to keep it up…. After having children and working in a high stress job, I put myself and my needs of the back burner and really struggled with myself.
My point is that I will not keep my past struggles from my daughter, I want her to see that life is a challenge and mommy does have to watch what she puts in her body, as well as what she does with her body. I want her to see me making conscious decisions about how I treat my body. She will have to do the same one day- to keep up her energy, have a positive body image, and know that exercise is the best anti-depressant. My mother hid her struggles from me, so when I had a negative outlook on myself or didn’t look like the skinny girls in my class…. I thought something was wrong with me. So I handled it in the most unhealthy of ways.
As a mother, and a daughter of a mother who swept these sort of issues under the rug…. I believe it’s much more important for my daughter to see mommy measure out portions and sweat her butt off (even when it’s so difficult) and to see that real life is not doing whatever you want with no repercussions. Anything and everything in this life is worth having you need to fight for!”
I thought this was so beautifully written and had so many little golden nuggets of truth! Thank you Ashley for sharing your heart with us!
Creating healthy, lifelong habits does take work. You have to be willing to spend the time to learn, educate yourself, arm yourself with tools and resources, and support from others to help you along the way. If you need a little direction, aren’t afraid of a little challenge and are ready to start making some positive changes in your life that will impact your children and your family, then consider joining my next virtual boot camp that starts this Monday, April 4. You can find me here or email me at jenthornfit@gmail.com for additional information!
Have a great day and here’s to shaping children not afraid of a little hard work!
xoxo
Jen
Jen Thorn Fit 