Month: January 2017

How to talk to someone struggling with negative body image…

~ jenthornfit ~ Leave a comment

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This is a question I get almost weekly from my clients and coaches so I thought I would address it here.  As someone who has struggled with disordered eating and negative body image, I can only tell you what has helped me.  Sorry for my French but I went through hell and back through my addiction to disordered eating and body image, and for A LONG TIME!  Sometimes I wish it didn’t happen to me, but then I realize that if I can help one person or inspire one person to make it out alive, then it was worth it.

Disclaimer: This blog post outlines how I would recommend addressing your concerns with another adult (let’s say someone over 25 or older), this is not how I would recommend addressing these concerns with a young girl or adolescent.  I will also state that I am not a doctor or licensed in any way to treat disordered eating and disordered body image which are legitimate diseases and addictions.  I am sharing with you some sincere ways of trying to change the conversation with a friend, co-worker or loved one who may be struggling with disordered eating/body image. If you feel like someone’s health is in immediate danger, that their behavior is beyond that of negative self-talk and you are concerned for their life and livelihood, please seek professional help.  At the end of this blog post I have also listed some professional resources. 

It’s a slippery slope working with someone who only sees their body for what it isn’t or what it can’t do. Essentially you are working to undo what is likely years of negative self-talk and someone who either was told or led by example (a mother or other strong female role model) or influence (an industry, such as those where aesthetic value is placed on your size and look such as modeling, dancing, gymnastics, figure skating, etc.) that your value comes from what your body looks like; what size you are, and how much you weigh.

First off, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Your value comes from the fact that you are a living, breathing human, created in God’s image.  If God didn’t see you as valuable, he wouldn’t have sent his only son to die a brutal criminal’s death to save you:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”   – Jeremiah 1:5

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” – Luke 12:7

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14

If you have a friend who maybe struggles with body image and negative self-talk, here are a few tips that have helped me in my own journey to fight back against these lies of negativity:

Tip No. 1: The power of positivity and encouragement.
In my personal experience, the only thing that can undo years’ worth of loathsome self-talk is to be surrounded by people who view fitness as a way of honoring their body and eating as a way of nourishing their body.  You are not going to change if you don’t change your environment and what influences you.  So, if you have a friend or family member who struggles with negative self-talk, change the conversation to one that’s positive and filled with encouragement!

Tip No. 2: Give them time.
Changing someone’s way of thinking and the way in which they perceive themselves can take a long time…months, maybe even years, and even then, that negative talk can still sneak up (as it often tries to do with me).  If we surround ourselves with people who are only speaking positively about their bodies and what they are capable of, it will start to rub off on us and others.   This is where the magic happens in the monthly virtual bootcamps and team of wellness coaches I lead comes into play:  as coaches, we lead these conversations and therefore can control where it goes and reign it in if it gets off track.  If it takes a turn towards negative town, we re-route it back to the positive.  We use words like NOURISH, FLOURISH, HONOR, STRENGTH, POWER, and focus on how we FEEL, not just how we LOOK.  And we celebrate “non-scale victories” – such as “I did my first full-plank push-up today”, or “I did my first set of 10 burpees ever today”, or “I was able to race around the playground today with my kids and roll around with them in the grass without needing a break.”

Tip No. 3:  Continue to encourage – no matter what! 
No matter what/if you are getting any response or getting anything in return…You just continue to show up, support and stay positive.  And each time your friend’s words or self-talk take a turn towards negative town, you steer them back on track.  Example, friend: “I feel so fat today I can’t even do this.”  You: “Well I am doing this, and I can’t do it without you so get down here and do one more push-up with me.”  Help them feel needed, help them feel valued, help them feel important.  It will remind them that they are all those things, despite the size of their pants or number on the scale.

Oswald Chambers says… “A river reaches places which its source never knows. And Jesus said that, if we have received His fullness, “rivers of living water” will flow out of us, reaching in blessing even “to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8) regardless of how small the visible effects of our lives may appear to be. We have nothing to do with the outflow— “This is the work of God, that you believe…” (John 6:29). God rarely allows a person to see how great a blessing he is to others.”

Be a river.  Don’t worry what you get out of it in return or if you ever see the fruits of your labor, you just keep flowing positivity and encouragement downstream!

Tip No. 4:  An unhealthy relationship with food is most likely present.
Many people who struggle with body image and negative self-talk usually have an unhealthy relationship with food.  They’ve dabbled in extreme, restriction diets, maybe they’ve struggled with binge eating, but most likely they have a love/hate relationship with food.  So, again, you have an opportunity to change the conversation, you have an opportunity to educate them on all the things food CAN do for them, not “TO” them; as they likely just see food as something that makes them “fat”, not as something that “fuels” them.  Focus on food as fuel, focus on food as medicine, focus on food as nourishing their body and something that enables them to do all the things they want to do.

To review, eating disorders and negative body image are not something that should be taken lightly.  In my personal experience, it took the grace of God, a little tough love, a whole lot of support and encouragement, and being around other positive people to help me start to change the conversation in my head, and my heart, from self-hatred to self-care.  Notice I did not say self-love.  For me, personally, the word “care” just had/has more powerful meaning.  When you “care” about something, you are saying you are committing to it for the long term…. I am going to “care” for you insinuates “I am going to be here for the long haul.”  Care is defined as “the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.”  Love is defined as “an intense feeling of deep connection.”  There are days where my “love” for my body is less intense than other days, but caring for my body requires daily commitment, choices, and actions.  And I think that’s the difference and why that word is so powerful, love is a feeling, and feelings can easily be swayed by many internal or external factors.  Care requires action.  And sometimes the best thing we can do for those struggling with eating disorders and negative body image, is to provide them with small, little action steps they can do daily to take care of their body.  With support and encouragement from friends and family, it is possible to change the conversation and turn what one feels about oneself from hate to love and turn neglect into positive action.

If you are looking for additional resources on this topic, I would recommend the following:

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-centers

http://www.center4ed.org/resources.asp

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support

If you have additional questions about eating disorders or negative body image and my personal experience, please comment below or email me at jenthornfit@gmail.com.

And if you want to join our team of amazing wellness coaches who support, care, encourage and uplift others, we are currently hiring and would love to welcome you to our positive Team Refine community!  Inquiries can be sent to: jenthornfit@gmail.com

Whole Foods Nutrition and Why I Supplement…

~ jenthornfit ~ Leave a comment

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What is Whole Food Nutrition???

If you have a pulse then you have probably heard the term “Whole Food Nutrition.” But what does it mean exactly??? Whole food nutrition refers to eating foods in their natural state. It’s the way our ancestors ate food; straight out of the ground, hunting on land and sea, or fishing in lakes and rivers. Whole Food is the completely opposite of “Processed Food”, which I’m sure you have also heard of.

Today I want to talk about whole food nutrition and Shakeology and what goes in to delivering nutrition (from across the world) to you, in a bag. The creators of Shakeology are passionate about two things, whole foods and nutrition. And they are doing everything they can (from soil, to growing, to processing) as carefully as possible to ensure the ingredients in Shakeology are minimally processed. This includes things like investing in painstakingly slow testing procedures to determine at which exact temperature each ingredient should be prepared and which method should be used to preserve the maximum potency of the beneficial ingredient – (such as dehydrating, steaming, baking, etc.), and to leave them as whole as possible so they can be biologically processed by the human body. You see, there are gentler methods to prepare food and herbs in a way that maintains their nutritional integrity without disrupting their beneficial and active compounds so that they can still deliver. The creators of Shakeology have taken the time to carefully examine and understand every single ingredient that goes into Shakeology. They know, specifically, what the active compounds are, they know the exact makeup of each nutrient and micronutrient, so the full spectrum of nutrients are present when they are prepared and inserted into Shakeology.

Creating a healthy lifestyle…

I will be the first to admit that fortunately, or unfortunately, there is no one magic pill. Healthy things add up over time so you can incorporate Shakeology into a days or weeks’ worth of healthy habits, and get the nutrient density from all of these botanicals that have been carefully sourced, along with a lifestyle that includes working out, eating right, getting sleep, eating a well-balanced diet. Health is a multi-pronged approach just as fitness is a journey with no final destination. I will also be the first to admit that this is HARD and takes effort! Did you know that we are the only species that pretends that we “don’t know what to eat”? Why? Because we’ve manipulated our senses; we pass by a Dunkin Donuts and immediately upon getting that whiff of “yumminess” our bodies crave it; we lean towards it, our senses take over and all we can think is “donut, get in my belly!”

Dunkin Donuts is just an example of how our society’s manipulation of fats, sugars, and other macronutrients has contributed to the obesity epidemic in America. In truth, we all really know what to eat (nothing out of a box, fruits, veggies, lean natural proteins) BUT we are constantly bombarded with contaminated everything (our food, the water used to grow the food, the soil in which our food is grown in, radiation from our cell phones/devices, etc.). In reality, if we were eating the way our ancestors ate, which was considered a “full spectrum diet”, and if we didn’t have to worry about pollution (wind, water, soil & air pollution), we wouldn’t have a need for supplements. Shakeology is a supplement; it’s there to fill a gap from the nutrient deficit that we get from “normal” ways of eating today. Shakeology is beneficial in its powdered form because it uses ingredients in their most natural form, extracts out of it which part is most beneficial to the body, and then maximizes what it is that benefits the body.

Source of Ingredients…

You may have noticed that many of the ingredients in Shakeology come from all across the world; they are not just grown or harvested here in the US. That’s because the creators of Shakeology are superfood hunters looking for the most nutrient dense soil/areas with minimal pollution, in which each ingredient is grown. If the vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, etc., are not present in the soil, they won’t be present in the plant. A perfect example of this is that today, an apple grown in the US has 25% of the beneficial nutritional compounds that it did 50 years ago!!! As for some of the more exotic superfoods and nutrients, many of the plants used in Shakeology have beneficial properties that indigenous peoples and mankind have been using for thousands of years; they know what is in there and what exactly is beneficial. With modern science, they now have a process in place – they understand what needs to stay in the plant to deliver on what it’s actually known to be good for. Furthermore, they prepare everything slowly to keep the biological makeup of vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients intact. The creators of Shakeology have basically fingerprinted every single ingredient and that fingerprint shows specific markers unique to each individual ingredient. They test them individually as well as together to create a perfect balance, a symphony if you will, or compounds. It is no surprise then that they have elaborate testing procedures in place; they test, then blend, then test again to ensure that every single ingredient, from ground to bag, is not compromised.

So what’s the difference between “processed foods” and the Shakeology “process”???

The difference is in the gentler extraction process. Think about the process of preparing loose leaf tea with a tea infuser and hot water, or making guacamole (cutting open a fresh avocado and breaking down the meat inside). Alternatively, think of whole bran cereal, or “bleached flour” – bleached means its white, it means it’s been stripped of almost everything, it is now a reduced ingredient with very little of its original cofactors. Or, in an extreme example, think of fast food, which is stripped, reduced, and re-configured to make it look like food. Reduced food has very serious consequences in the body because our body views that “food” as a foreign invader. This is completely opposite from Shakeology, where the contents of each bag are hand tested to ensure the original blueprint of the beneficial ingredient is still intact. If there is one thing I leave you with today, it is to trust the botanical process of earth, it knows what to do, and fill your body with nourishment from the earth!

Interested in trying Shakeology? Consider joining my “30 days to a healthier you” virtual bootcamp beginning Monday, January 9. Consider this a “gateway” introduction to wellness with a 100% money back guarantee with very little time commitment required, just a decision that you want to take care of and honor your beautiful earthly vessel! Comment here or email me at jenthornfit@gmail.com for additional information!